Echoes,
It sounds like you've made alot of progress in therapy! I'm so happy for you It's scary to go in and say whatever is on your mind! You'll feel so much better when you tell your T the things that you have been afraid of telling her and experience a nonjudgemental, understanding response. You're being so courageous! It is so wonderful that you feel that the real T is better than the idealized T. I've also heard from others that it is better also. This gives me hope that I will one day find the real T not so scary and be able to let the idealized T go. Thanks for sharing your progress with us. It's such an inspiration!