I'm sorry you are suffering at all.

I doubt that all of that is caused by any one thing. For example, the fascination with the gore and homocidal ideations could very well be that you are feeding yourself that stuff through movies, games, reading materials and conversations. Try NOT doing any of that, and see if the inclination lowers.

If you are yourself thinking about killing people, that might surely make you suspicious and concerned that others are too...and that you might be one of them?

Why not have a chat with your school counselor, or favorite teacher and find some IRL support. ((((hugs))) No reason to be living that way.