You ask us for understanding and patience in expressing something that might on the surface seem problematic. I think you will find that, by and large, people here will be willing to grant you that understanding and patience. As gently as I can, though, I submit that this same understanding and patience, from you, is what is needed in dealing with your girlfriend.

People in excruciating pain often do not make choices that stand up to the harsh spotlight of seemingly pure rationality at later dates. With regard to the guy she invited over, she evidently knew him in some capacity before the rape, and she may have decided to have even that company over the prospect of being alone. She might have him on facebook because there is too much revulsion around bringing him to mind long enough to delete him.

My suggestion is to resist the urge to know and understand the excruciating details of what happened, and of how she handled the trauma afterwards, and instead limit yourself to offering her unconditional acceptance, support, and compassion. You empower her by allowing her to deal with her trauma as she sees fit now, and as she saw fit at the time.