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I don't know what you as the partner are supposed to do about any of this or how to discuss it with her... It's very complicated and while I can share input like that on she might feel, I am not wise in the matters of handling delicate matters well.
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My suggestion is to use "active listening". With this approach, the listener tries to get across that she understands and accepts what was said, without expressing any judgment pro or con. The listener accomplishes this by stating her understanding of what was said, and allowing the speaker to correct it as needed.
For example:
Her: I was so alone that I asked him to come over that night.
You: The aloneness must have been overwhelming and excruciating.
Her: Yes. I was just terrified.
You: It could have been the most frightened you have ever felt.
Her: It was.
You can look up more about active listening, or "reflective listening", online.
If you use active listening, she can come to realize that you understand and accept her, even about her trauma. Knowing that, she might try to express more of her feelings. In other words, she is not alone.