I feel the same way. And the reality is I don’t even know how to be there for myself when I feel this way. I’ve been lingering on the psychotic side of my spectrum for the last two years and he just isn’t working anymore. I started going to the therapist and all it has done is pointed out all the things that I always thought were just eccentric nennenn.

Sometimes I feel like the best thing they could do is just walk away and let me cope with it on my own. I mean I have been my whole life. Other times I just want my partner to hug me or hold me close and tell me or I’ll be OK. Of course the second he comes near me I want to shun him so there we are back-and-forth.

I am struggling a lot too and I don’t know what to say to myself either and certainly nothing anyone else will ever say will make it better. But I would like to offer you this but even when it seems the darkest at some point it will have to get better.