i never specified the gender of my spouse, i used neutral language, just as a side note. one should be careful not to make assumptions about people.

it doesn't just work to tell someone who fundamentally "believes" in non-monogamy as a philosophical point of view that it isn't what i want and they just accept that. i have told them that this isn't what i want. but a relationship is two people who have to reconcile such differences. what i'm wondering specifically is how i can approach this with keeping in mind that i need so much stability to manage my bipolar symptoms...