Perna, yes you are right that for an elderly person everything becomes more challeging. As to my sister-in-law coming and meeting up as a family it is out of the question as she divorced not too long ago plus she has health issues. What bothers me is that "everyone else's problems" from daily living(aging, divorce, health issues) comes before "my life problems"....we truly can't afford to go and it would be payed by credit card of which we would pay off slowly. There is another alternative which is no one goes and no one comes because we are all going through difficult times. My husband did go to see his mother on his own three years ago and you know what, he didn't even stay at her house...he stayed at his brother's house. He made up some excuse as to why he stayed with his brother, but I know better...he didnt stay with her because she is always bringing up the past about how she was taken advantage by a sister-in-law in a buisness they had together ........I on the other hand don't mind a bit of her talking about it and repeating it till infinity and he sees how I have rappor with her(womenly talk)......but what gets to me is that I'm the one always having to make some kind of sacrifice in one way or the other to keep everyone happy. I'm getting a bit ticked off by it!