I am not sure if it is a change of heart just yet, but she seems to want me to really understand where she is at. My list of transgressions is long and legit. I never cheated but I hid drinking and lied about it, sometimes even though I was reeking of alcohol at the time. I would clam up, go dark and not help as much around the house or with kids or I would try to make plans for everyone around my current interests and get frustrated when she felt like it was too expensive or not everyone would enjoy it. Those two are what bug me; that is BP at work and she has to deal with it.

She accepted a promotion that she had talked about refusing because she wasn't sure she could depend on me (I will need to handle a lot of kid appointments). She is treating me nicer around the house in the day time.

When I quit drinking, she didn't get too excited about it because "we have been here before." The same is true about improvements in our relationship; I have quit drinking for 6 to 18 months and not seen much improvement in the last few years (before that, we would get close again). Right now, I am just 5 days short of 4 months clean and sober. So any complaints about recent behavior are about my character/personality or my MI. Those are thing that have to be accepted or rejected. If they are accepted we need to get close again. If they are rejected, we need to separate. I will give it a little more time before I hit her with that ultimatum; I have been sober longer a few times and gone back in the tank.

I have to admit that I fear I may end up alone if things don't work out; that's a big reason why I have stayed so long with the current situation.