The other problem is my mom tells me all the details of what my dad tells her during their fights to hurt her, these are really nasty hurtful things.

My dad is under the impression that I don't know these things, but my mom tells me everything and it enrages me and when I decide to intervene or confront my dad to talk about it, my mom stops me from doing it.

Her logic is that if I talk to him, things will get worse and it will turn him against me and things will get ugly between us.

So she expects me to talk to him as if everything was normal or I am unaware of the incidents in the home and still allow him to talk to his grandson.

This just makes it incredibly complicated for myself as I have grown distant and cannot accept what is going on and don't want to talk to my dad, but am doing things that I don't want to do on my mother's insistence.