They were projecting on to you, imo, by calling you selfish and evil.

It's how they felt about themselves (probably, if you listen hard, you can hear their parents screaming the words at them).

That doesn't necessarily make it any easier.

I didn't forgive my father until some time after he was dead (he died when I was in my early twenties).

My judgement will always be skewed, after the terrors he put me and my siblings and mother through. It is, for example, a big factor in my not having children. I was determined to break the cycle. It's not that I would have been cruel to a child of mine. I certainly would not. But I might have become too depressed to care for/defend them, like my mother was.

I have moments, of course, of missing the children I'll probably never have.