i think i need to get help with what happened in my past i feel so ****ing angry and upset right now to the point where i shouldn't be alive i am someone who is garbage **** not worth anything at all
i am married to the most wonderful and caring man who i love deeply but i keep thinking am going to lose him in some way either because we fight sometimes or by another way where he dies
i cant be at peace with myself at all and i think i need threapy and help i feel dirty all the time i feel deep deep hate for myself
Am Non Binary / trans and am worried they will think am a freak or something
I have friends who i love deeply as well and am worried ill do something to lose them dont want them to die but i know that some day they will
my heart is breaking before that time when it happens i'll be inconsolable i love my friends and for the first time in my life i have friends who give a **** about me my family dont understand my mental health my mother calls it attention seeking because i self injure she dont understand about me being trans and she looks down on everyone and makes them feel like **** that is one of the reason why am so low and hate myself so much
AM worthless but she had a **** life too and its looks like me and my sister was neglected because of that
the sexual abuse of both me and my sister didnt happen according to my mother we are just making up but its funny how my sister remembers things that happened that i also remember things
i want to blame someone for the **** so i blame myself i dont know how to calm down at the moment i feel i need to hurt myself or scream but its 9 pm here and i dont want to wake upstairs little ones
i need help unsure if i should contact the trauma place and ask for an appointment or go to the drop in that they have
**** i hate me i hate my mother and i hate them for what they did but i still think its my fault