I have been in the middle of an emotional upheaval lately. I'm miserable. I have major anxiety. I'm flooded with mixed emotions, none of them positive.

My T tells me that part of my problem is that I fight these feelings instead of tolerating them. He tells me not to say, I hate feeling this way! I despise this anxiety! I'm sick of feeling like this. I asked him last session what to do if my anxiety got to a high point, if I started being totally obsessive. He said, "Sit with it." "Tolerate it."

I understand the premise. Having OCD, I know that the more you fight a thought, the more entrenched it becomes. However, I get so infuriated when he tells me to tolerate these things. I feel like these negative emotions and anxiety are intruders that are attacking me. If I use my intellect to try to convince myself to sit and tolerate these awful feelings, my emotions protest by flooding me with anxiety. Then I feel worse. Then I think I hate that I feel worse. It's like a circle and I can't get out of it. Does anybody else understand this? Does this make sense to anyone?

Do I really have to sit with anxiety? Do I have to sit with these negative emotions? Can't someone change the seating chart? It's my turn to sit with Peace. I'd love to sit with happiness. I won't talk to them, I promise. I'll just enjoy their presence. . .