i guess i am still trying to figure out what it's about for me... when i was young i use to squeeze things in my hand so i would deflect from what was happening... and it just kind evolved from there...and then when ever i was in a stressful situation i would do it to get out of a panic attack... i use to think it brought me back to reality... but now i kind of think it's the opposite and tha panic is the reality... but the truth is i really don't feel pain when i am in that place...lyn