I feel ya, bewise. It sounds like you're making a huge effort to stop smoking! Keep giving it the effort you've been giving it! Quitting is difficult, period.

After smoking for 35 years, I quit cold turkey three years ago. I still want to have a cigarette on my high & low days, & still have dreams about smoking. Since quitting, it's somewhat easier to breathe, but I have a minor case of COPD & get winded easily. I was smoking three cartons a month before I stopped, but now have almost $200 left at the end of the month that wasn't there before. Despite the urges to smoke (nicotine is almost as addictive as heroin), there are good reasons to quit. It just a matter of finding them. Quitting isn't easy, that's for damned sure, but citing bipolar as a reason to smoke is just another excuse (it's the cigs talking) IMO.