My parents never fit in. I didn't totally understand it growing up. It was strange because I would spend my summers with my grandparents in Kansas with my mom & everyone there was so nice & accepting.....so I noticed a difference. Being around an environment that didn't fit in or have friends made me very independent along with being an only child. Then I ended up marrying someone who also never fit in & that always kept me at a distance from everyone too.

It was strange when I was 54 after 33 years of marriage, I had enough & left. I moved across the country & for the first time in my life I could relate to people on my own. It has been amazing because I have become so involved in the community & in my church & am included in everything rather than always feeling like the outsider I had for all my life.

I am involved with the horse groups in our community & besides just enjoying trail riding, have been involved in some horse rescue care with our group.

I volunteered when the World Equestrian Games came to our state & ended up on the floral decoration crew. Many of us who connected with the core crew were invited back to decorate annually for the annual eventing show held at the horse park which also led to other volunteer work & meeting even more people.

I love ballroom dancing & am now involved with an advanced performance class. I wish I had time & energy to be more involved with this group for the monthly dances they have.

I have also met people who are very involved in many areas of the community & there is always some need for volunteers.....so I never know what might come up. I have always been willing to get involved when I have the time so they know they can call on me for help.....or even just to get together socially & have fun.

From my experience in a town where I knew absolutely NO ONE when I moved here 10 years ago, the feeling of belonging has come from putting myself out there. Getting involved in areas I'm interested in & do things that are needed even if I'm learning while I'm doing it.

I have also learned better how to connect with people.....something I really had never learned in 54 years of life because except for my grandparents, I was never around family that was capable of connecting.

One can never get the feeling of belonging if they isolate. Getting out in the community with things that interest you is the best way of connecting....belonging grows from there.

I have to say that I felt lost living in huge Los Angeles all my life surrounded by millions of people who just did their own thing & hardly even knowing your neighbor.....moving to a little town of only 8,000 really helped me connect, get involved, & not feel so lost in the surroundings. I also feel safer which helps also