Thanks everyone for your kindness, empathy and understanding. It's greatly appreciated well one of the support workers said J is cruel for saying things to make me cry. J said she wanted to make me cry because she'd never seen me cry before but thinking back to I think she did it to gain emotional control over me. The same worker said J wants you to depend on her because I told her J offered to provide me care and that I should leave the care agency let J do the care. J said move in with her twice and then another time said we should be housemates. Support worker said "you would suffocate " and once J has full control over you her true nature will show. Worker said J "she wants to dig her claws into you" and I said to worker within 2 weeks of knowing her and listening to Louisa Johnsons song "getting over you" that J said : that will be us. Worker said J is being manipulative and then a different worker said J was being manipulative to say after ex partners headstone is put in I don't have any reason to continue then talked about her Will. And one month of knowing J, J said I'm planning to move to Scotland UK, I've got nothing here to stick around for. Worker said J is manipulative saying that. And then one time we had plans to drive to the beach then out of the blue because I showed obsessiveness over a care coordinator J says: I'm taking you home. So I felt disappointed we are not going to beach anymore, but then J continues in the direction of the beach. I think it's deception and Js way of showing me who's in control , who has power....over me....

You all are right this has been incredibly difficult because since I decided to end it with J 3 months ago I have experienced a lot of rage, high intensity rage, frequent spells of rage....

2 of my friends said J was emotionally blackmailing me and J said "this is not unwanted pressure " (on me to see her) and one of the workers said J is contradicting herself and another said (the very fact that she's sending all these emails and letters)- "that IS pressure " her actions prove what a deceitful, manipulative character she really is. My care coordinator knows most of what J said and did to me.

Wondering what to do about psychiatrist appointment I might have to ask them to postpone appointment. I feel very angry that the psychiatrist would invalidate, undermine me like that saying "feels" harassed "feels" controlled, manipulated by J. I actually find it offensive. Unsure if I can keep my anger under control therefore it would be best to postpone till I get my medical notes then write Psychiatrist a letter

Support workers are aware what J said to me: J claimed she called A friend who works for NHS and asked him for information regarding my clinical records. J claims her friend told her nothing. I told police J said that and police woman said NHS will tell J "do one" this was 4 months into knowing J. I should have known it was a red flag. I mean I already told J at the time I was suffering psychosis depression anxiety. J completely violated my privacy (attempted to anyway) and an agency said something along the lines of "personal boundaries " I think they said J was violating my personal boundaries....friends of mine said they'd be fuming if J did that to them. A worker said she would have ended it with J there and then but maybe that's a bit drastic