Recovery for me means that I feel like I am back in the world and can communicate with people good and I can be a part of society and accomplish things. It also means that I am going the same speed as everyone else, right now it seems like I am in slow motion and everyone else is speeding ahead of me and the years are going by so fast. I know I am young Im only 19 but the last 4 years have went by so fast and I have nothing to show for it at all. One of the things i have noticed is that Ive never felt good except for a very short time. Even before I went through the real bad depression, the anxiety, and the psychosis that Im going through now I was still not a happy person.

In my younger days I was mad a lot and stressed out. I dont come from a good environment either. If I am to recover I will be almost an entirely different person. I will still be me but I will do everything differently. Sometimes I have thought of moving far away and starting over all the way with people who dont know who I am. I just want to be in a mood where Im ready for whatever the world might bring me that day and take it 1 day at a time. I am nowhere near that right now but I still have some hope left.