Thinking about what I've been through and what others have been through I have to feel that I'm fortunate in a way. I had some how put away all these traumas feeling that they had been dealt with for soooo many years. Then one event opened Pandora's box and they all spilled at one time causing me to feel as is if I were inside a tornado with all these unresolved memories circling me. I can't get out, the swirl and power of the memories keeps me trapped in the vortex.

Why I feel fortunate is that if I had been dealing with all these things for as long as they have been going on I don't know where I would be right now. Would I have been strong enough to endure the constant and sequential traumas that followed? So now at 58 years of age....in a sense I'm thankful that all this has surfaced in the past 4 years and not a lifetime. Does that make sense? It's like I'm just starting this healing journey now. This is why I have so many questions about therapy, expectations of therapy and want to know what the plan is. May look online and see if there's a book called beginning therapy for Dummies I've needed one.

I mean how do you go from a lifetime of being told not to share what goes on privately to to discussing every little detail. Being told that "little girls should be seen and not heard" especially when you are talking to therapist that are young enough to be your child. They have no idea what being raised in that generation entailed. Yes, they have the book smarts and can read studies. But how can they truly understand?

Just rambling here.......