NO, you are not a jerk at any level

You have care & understanding for the situations where it is totally understandable but the clarity to see when people need to take responsibility for their own reactions to everyday things that happen normally in life.

Sadly many parents never teach their kids those skills but it's NEVER too late for them to learn. I had good skills I developed but learned more really helpful skills & information in my late 50's from an intense 2 year DBT group with the best psychologist ever.....we are never too old to learn new things & yes, old dogs can be taught NEW tricks