There's a serious disconnect with my therapist over the topic of asexuality. She shrugs off my feelings of alienation from pretty much all of society's social/cultural exchanges and says I understand that's how you feel. That kind of response is so invalidating, it always leaves me stuck and hopeless that there is anyone to talk to about this.

She tries to normalize asexuality (and also gender issues) by saying things like, it's very common. Or she'll say most people have fluid sexuality and it's not so cut and dry.

All of this ignores the distress I feel about not fitting in socially because no matter how many times I try to tell her that our society is focused on partnering, she says she knows that's how I feel. And then she says if I need to fit in somewhere, what's wrong with the lesbian label? And I'm like...but that's not me. I have zero attraction to women. Just because my body is female does not make me a lesbian. I can't relate to them anymore than hetero women.

So I've looked online for other therapists and the thought of switching feels traumatic. Also, they all look/sound insipid and make me appreciate my therapist. I just can't go through another search, not when there is more right than not right with the therapist I see. I just don't know how to make her understand.

She knows a lot about sexuals--hetero, homo, bi, pan--but nothing about the distress of being none of those in a primarily sexual world. I looked online and found an ace group a couple cities over--too far to participate in--and they have indicated that very few therapists understand issues of asexuality. My therapist has shown leanings toward a belief that this is caused by childhood abuse in my case, so she views it as asexuality is a place to land for now.

Basically, I just don't feel like she is at all understanding me on this and I just want to scream. Or quit. Or both. But then I would have no support at all.

I guess I'm not looking for advice so much as I want to vent.

For anyone wanting to suggest talking to her about this, I have. Many many times. She sees it as me being upset whenever she has a different view. I just want for someone to understand.