I just emailed my old therapist in the United States to catch her up on the times over the last year and a half. I heard she was interested in hearing from me through my partner.

I told her a lot of things from a Facebook post I did recently a few weeks ago catching up people on what's been happening with my life. I'm not afraid to share what happens for me in my mental health, because I figure I have nothing to lose, and if it helps someone in the process, that alone makes it worth doing.

But one thing I struggle with....it...seems so vivid looking at my medical records that I've been struggling with psychotic symptoms since January 2016 periodically. I swear, how can this be happening? I know I repeat myself saying this, but I swear; how can this happen? How is this real? I should be able to quit my meds and forget about it...but it probably isn't that easy or simple.