Medically, his labs have been normal, his hormones fine. I'm left to blame myself. For the first time in our marriage, I'm thinking about getting out. What would that look like? And then there's the kids, and I do love him, and yadayada. So I feel stuck. A large part of me is empty. I feel empty, and unloved. One can see how this plays a large part in my struggle with drinking, and how it adds to my depression on my dark days. Yikes! Thankfully, and with no good reason I can think of, I've found a small well of strength at the moment.