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Originally Posted by mymask
How old are you Jayne? Age could have a lot to do with it. I had a similar start, no dates in HS, first kiss at maybe 21?? Looking for love etc, I idealized everyone else and thought (and still do) that I am weird/different why can't I have what they have? Anyway fast forward I am now in my 50s and have seen the reality of life that no one has it perfect we all suffer in some areas. We all make do or settle in some way, and if people say they don't they just won't admit it. Friends are hard to make at certain ages. I am finding it easier now that I am older, my friends are past the raising kids, new love/relationship stage. As far as a "love" relationship, you may or may not find it, but it is not going to fix you/save you or change you. So don't think that is the magic bullet, maybe look for different things in a person, the net is ok, if you do it right, don't jump into anything fast, and look for good people, pay attention to red flags. Not sure if you have a faith base, but church's are a great place to meet friends as well as partners. Also being single does have it's benefits.
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Thank you for Sharing your perspective. I am not the OP but I have benefitted from your insightful post.
I am 40, single by choice and don’t have any close friends or family. I believe that I am in a transitional stage during which I navigating life while trying to answer these questions.
Maintaining friendships is particularly difficult because I no longer care about new love/relationships (have been happily single for a long time), and I am significantly less concerned about what others think of me hence not preoccupied by being judged negatively or not fitting in. I still do care but I am also working hard on completely eliminating this concern.
On the other hand, Friends that I find are merely concerned about new love relationships, dating problems, not having a respectful career and an image... while all i care about being physically healthy, have deep connections, read philosophy, be with nature, garden, write poetry.