Alright, I realise I have some psychotic symptoms. I also realise that some of them do stress me, and "normal" life events that have occurred have stressed me even more.

I think about being persecuted quite a lot. I can't go to the city center on my own because I´m afraid my roommate will attack me if she sees me.

BUT also I have realised that the car that is sometimes parked near my home isn't my roommate's. I'm studying in an another town. She doesn't know I'm there. Now I'm on sick leave, I don't have to stress about anything else except the upping of Seroquel.

Still, my pdoc wants me to go to hospital.

I think that would be a bad idea because
a) there are a lot of people who would make me feel nervous (been there once as a patient, several other times as a guest)
b) they would screw my medication up
c) if I hallucinate and panic, they would just inject diazepam or something else into my arm instead of calming me down.
d) it is an environment where I would hallucinate more since there's nothing to do.
e) my roommate might be there.

The thing is, my pdoc won't believe that considering that I am "psychotic", I can function pretty well in my home environment. I can do chores, do stuff on my own, I'm even here on the computer, able to write a post.

I don't think being hospitalised would remove my psychotic symptoms. Instead, I would like "alternative" ways of relieving them, such as.. Well, one of my T's said that I can tell myself that a hallucination is a temporary disturbance in my brain, so it wont scare me as much. Stuff like that. Anyone agree?

It could all be taken care of in my home environment, and I could go to see my pdoc like, every day if she wants me to, and she could monitor how I'm doing or if I need to change meds.

Ugh, I just feel pretty clueless. I know I'm not like any of the patients at the psych ward. I'm happy. But my pdoc kind of "forced" me to go because that day I was a little down. I know the system is different over here in the north, but does anyone know what could be done? Can I still convince my pdoc that I don't have to go even though I "promised" to go?