My mom and I are fine. Our relationship has pretty much been repaired.

What brought all this on was a number of things. I lost my cat, that hurt. My mom almost died, but she's good now and out of the hospital. A childhood friend of mine took his life, that's made it difficult to even sleep. And then I had to deal with another lecture about me not contributing, it's accurate but I can't seem to solve the problem. To add to it all, nothing I do seems to please anyone. They always expect more and/or better. What can I say, I'm useless. Finally, my fiance and I have been fighting, it takes two but I wish we could just figure this crap out and be happy.

I know you all care here and it does mean a lot. I just wish it changed anything. I'm not saying that to offend. I'm just saying that no matter what my head just drowns everything and everyone else out. I'm so damn tired. I just want to be done.

shezbut, thanks for the number. I don't think I need to talk to anyone about that subject at the moment. With my T, I see him on Wednesday. I don't know if I'll bring any of this up with him. I don't really think that far ahead anymore.