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Generally, no, abusive men do not change and he is absolutely abusive. Don't let him make you feel guilty for calling him abusive. I saw a lot of red flags in your post.
I would do everything I could to find a way to leave, take your son and end the relationship. You need to document any abuse. Take pictures of any bruising. Have you ever called 911 on him? I'm guessing no because he is a cop. Do you have friends or family that you can reach out to?
You may want to reach out to a domestic abuse hotline or a shelter in your area. They would be able to help you form a plan.
I'm sorry that you are going through this.
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"Do you know what’s really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It can’t go away, you see. And… and it follows you around like a ghost."
~ A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003)
"I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t a member of any particular group."
~ Anne Rice
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