How are you doing now, Peaches? Did expressing yourself here, and the replies, help any? One of the things you wrote:
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. . .I am not just sitting around feeling sorry for myself and wanting my t to take care of me. I have worked hard to address my issues. I try to take as much responsibility for my healing as I can on my own. But I NEED more support from my t. . .
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I think I have needed social support, not just psychological help if that makes any sense. Psychological help, yes, for the trauma and results of trauma but if, as you pointed out:
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. . .As a result, instead of healing, the client experiences endless cycles of yearning/longing, needing, emotional hunger...that ends in disappointment because the t cannot/will not interact outside the therapy hour. . .
That is why I am holding firm to my decision NOT to do any further therapy work that uncovers childhood rejection/abandonment/trauma issues. I deal with things better as an adult when I leave those issues alone in therapy. If therapy can't fix those wounds, then quit ripping off the scab!
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In my experience, too, the therapy often doesn't really help us "recover". And I have found that after ripping off the scab the therapist's issues can then additionally "infect" me. So, yeah, leave a scab on there if the therapy can't really deal with those wounds.
Like another poster suggested I wonder a little about the possibilities of EMDR and related therapies for just the trauma piece, not the relationship building/repair.
Probably, with adults, it may be too much for many therapists to deal with the unresolved, intense longings? But then, as you asked, why don't they know that? Maybe eventually they will hear us?
Going forward, I also wonder about a supportive COMMUNITY of others who have had similar experiences. Unfortunately I have not found anything like that in real life. But the online communities have been definitely better than nothing for me.