I hate my parents and being at my home makes me even more depressed and anxious even when nothing is wrong. My parents fight a lot and they have issues of their own, and they're very controlling. They used to abuse me a lot when I was younger, and still do sometimes but I try my best to avoid it. They think I need to have perfect grades need to go to a good university to succeed, and they won't accept any other career option.

I'm 'smart', or they say, and I keep my grades good but I don't really want a career in this direction. I gave a lot of thought to this and the best thing I found ( what i thought would at least make me content ) was a job related to coding and programming, because it related to art too. I want to move to another country when I grow up so bad, so I thought I could get a job like this abroad. But every job I mention they give reasons why it isn't a good choice, they pretend to be helping me but they pick on anything I mention and just herd me into what they want me to be, like a doctor or a professor.

But I like to sing and I love playing the guitar, and I actually really want to have a job like this. I know how music can help people, and I want to create music that would make people feel they're not alone, it's kind of like a secret dream of mine. My friends think I've got a good voice and I think I could get better if I get some lessons. Once I got the chance to sing in front of my parents (long story), and they were really surprised, and they even said I could sing really well. My grandmother (she does something related to singing, also a long story) suggested that I should make this a career, but my dad was like "No chance, music should just be a hobby".
And this isn't something I want to do professionally but I like to draw / paint, I gave up on this some time ago but I've started drawing again. My dad hates that I paint, I can just see that he does and I hate it so much.

I hate my family and this place so much, I just want to move to another country by myself and do whatever I want to do. I really don't care if I can make a lot of money or not, I just want to be happy and I'm sure I would be able to live a content life without meeting the expectations my parents have for me.

But right now I'm stuck here and I can't do anything about it, this is killing me.