I have people I admire even at my age 64....but everyone INCLUDING YOU, needs to learn appropriate social skill with anyone you are around whether you admire them, "look up" to them, or dislike them. Your problem isnt looking up to or admiring people....ITS YOUR LACK OF CONTROL & your LACK OF SOCIAL SKILLS of knowing & doing what is right.

You have wired your mind to think that its your LOOKING UP to someone that is the problem BUT IN REALITY IT IS YOUR BEHAVIOR that is the problem.

It is NORMAL for people to admire others, it is NORMAL to have feelings.....what IS NOT NORMAL is the way you behave around those people.

It is YOUR BEHAVIOR, NOT YOUR FEELINGS that is the problem. I know social skills are VERY DIFFICULT for ASD people (depending on where you lie on the soectrum) to learn how to behave in a socially acceptable way & it does take WORK to learn but you camt blow off your counselor the way you blew off your parents. You are capable of learning right from wrong but you also have to want to. Avoiding situations doesnt TEACH hou anything. Experiencing feelings & LEARNING APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR to express those feelings is important for your future because feelings are NOT something that can be avoidex but MUST BE LEARNED how to appropriately express them. Avoiding will teach you nothing. Learning & experiencing will gain you a much more enjoyable life.