For those of you who are in therapy for sexual abuse, have any of your therapists said the following when asked the question of why I might've stayed with a sexually abusive boyfriend:

Sometimes women do sexual things and think about it later as abuse. Now, I will say that I did stay in this relationship and others but I know what is abuse and what isn't. I do feel a lot of shame and humiliation and he has been trying to get me to feel less of that and not blame myself.

Now I feel very wounded but I'm wondering did he say that so that I could think for myself what the difference is? I am not finding the therapeutic benefit of this.

He has never ever wounded me like this before. He saw I was upset and said he didn't mean to imply I liked it and apologized but I'm having a hard time figuring this out.

Can anyone shed some light on how this might be helpful?