Hugs, I really get that. i'm sorry you're struggling so much.

My last T loved CBT. I felt... too smart for her (mostly because she let herself being tricked easily though) and very belittled by cbt, as if they thought I couldn't read a selfhelp book on my own...

I don't know enough about all the kind of therapies to propose something, I just wanted to let you know that I used to feel the same way with my ex-T