It is perhaps not surprising that this would be the hierarchy of needs from the therapist's perspective. One might even call it "healthy self-interest". The problem as I see it is with the concept of "therapeutic alliance". Many people with developmental trauma lack the ability to have this kind of healthy self-interest -- that's one of the reasons for symptoms that lead us to therapy! It would be great if we could develop it and learn in therapy, but too often we don't. Hence, for instance when there was the rupture without repair with my last therapist, there was no more "alliance" (if there ever really was) and my therapist's self-interest took entirely over.

Which is the same kind of developmental trauma that I had experienced in my family of origin -- nobody trustworthy that I could count on to care about me. And without that -- just all kinds of anxiety, uncertainty, doubts about my own value, etc., that I can still (or maybe finally) feel. And for which I was therefore willing to pay somebody to "be there" and help with, exactly how I didn't know -- an illusion they certainly promoted and colluded with.