i had the most horrendous session a few weeks ago.it might have even been a month ago .sense then my T seems to have changed and i dont get it or trust it at all. the last few sessions have been very lite in ways. although i am one to not really focus on our relationship in therapy much she has been bringing it up a lot lately. that horrible session we had really rocked me . now she keeps on talking about how therapy works and trust,and the week before she was talking about how she cares about me . this week in session she talked about how i cant keep seeing her as a bad parent .that she is there to she me an example of what a good parent is and to be an older roll model of a woman who cares and is not critical and wants the beast for me ,someone i can trust .she reminded me that i can talk to her about anything .that i can say anything that is on my mind .that i am safe and that therapy is a safe place .she seems to have changed a lot of her boundarys like telling me she cares about me. she might say something like she cares about the work we do or something like that but never directly that she cares about me . and the latest thinks are that she has told me that i can call her if i need to that she is there for me if i need her . Thursday i told her i was not going to be able to show for our next session .she said she was not going to be there either because she is taking the day off to celebrate her birthday . it is two days before mine lol. but in 6 years she has never shared anything personal with me .now she seems to be opening up about little things . and today she called me out of the blue to confirm that i will not be there on Thursday.not something she has ever done in the past. and then she said again that if i needed to call her that it was ok and made sure i had her cell .she said she will be out of town but she did not mind at all if i needed to call .and she wanted me to know that . i dont get it and i dont trust it . i am not one who has a need to know personal stuff about my T. i have lived that and it is not helpful in the long run. for the longest time i couldnt write e mail or anything. i could call her office if needed but she would not call back unless it was scheduling. things have changed and it scares me

i have seen so many people get so attached on such a deep level that these calls and e mails and outside contact seem to rule there life. getting upset when therapist doesnt call and check on them or return a call. stops telling them how much they care or reassuring them . being there for them always and then stops. and many other things. now my T after about 6 years has changed .she is checking on me allowing me to call if i need. talking about how she cares about me and i can trust her .just being different. my few times i did call her when she worked in the clinic she was iffy about calling back. that was ok with me because i didnt have great expectations. i worry with her pushing all this i will start to have the same problems others here encounter when therapists allow this stuff .she has offered many times now for me to be able to call her if i need but i have not taken her up on it .i need to deal with things on my own . she says it doesnt need to be that way and that is what therapy is about ,getting help . im not saying im not attached with my therapist ,i definitely am. im scared she will leave me and hate me so i will never overstep my bounds . in fact she has even brought that up about how im so scared that she will abandon me that i try to be the perfect patient . tat i need to relax with her and to not worry so much about time and so on . that i need to develop more trust .

have people her ever had a good experience with a therapist who allowed outside contact and these other things i have mentioned. it doesnt seem like it .