What you're describing is a very difficult process, which I'm in the middle of too. I forget who it is, but someone on this forum has in their signature something to the tune of, "Self care is NOT selfish." It's so hard for some of us to really put ourselves first without the massive loads of guilt that come with it, but it's crucial for our mental health.

You seem to be a little further along in your journey with this than I am. It's not easy, and I appreciate having this post to be reminded of it. It's not selfish to put your mom behind a door and take care of yourself at this point. It's imperative for you to be healthy.