I agree with Velcro that it sounds like she might be trying something different, maybe in response to a new understanding of how things work between you, and how hard it can be for you when sessions don't go well?

I have had a very good experience with outside contact. I was seriously retraumatized in my first round of therapy, partly because we were digging up a lot of traumatic material and I had no way of dealing with it between sessions. Early on, my current therapist told me it was always ok to call him. At first I was very reluctant, but I started to trust him more that it really would be ok to try to reach out when I was suffering.

And it has worked out well. In the early days I learned that calling him when I felt bad gave me a way out of feeling that way- part of it was that even just reaching out felt like I was doing something to help myself. And our phone calls were not formless- they were about coaching me to be able to take the next steps to be able to take care of myself, so that I could get past this moment of despair or helplessness. My therapist was very good about showing me that I had the power to help myself, and helping me practice pulling myself out of these bad states. It felt a little bit like a safety net, whereas my original therapy experience had left me feeling like I was in freefall.

I usually called him maybe a couple of times a month? One week I was in utter despair and I think maybe I rang three times. He was always patient and helpful. I still ring him occasionally, but i am much better now at figuring out myself how to pull myself out of these states, and they happen less frequently now.

I have been dealing with a new situation that has been quite difficult, however, and one thing I do now is send him regular emails outlining how I am dealing with what's going on now. This is very helpful to me- He doesn't reply to those, because I am writing them more as a journal and a way of recording the more positive things that are happening during this difficult time. I suppose a journal would be a thing I could do instead but I've never managed to be consistent with journal writing.

So for me, outside contact has really helped me develop my ability to better take care of myself. I haven't had a lot of negative effects- there were a few times that stressed me out when there was a problem with the phone communication (a couple of times things had gone wrong with his phone, for example, so he didn't get my messages - one time I was sure he must have had something terrible happen to him but he had just dropped his phone in the toilet so didn't have access to for a day. Now if there is a bit of a delay in him calling me back I don't worry as much because I understand that it's likely just a technical glitch instead of some kind of catastrophe).

Perhaps you could say to yourself that you could experiment for say a month and see if trying a little outside contact might be helpful? I can certainly understand your reservations but I just wanted to share my experience as an example of how it can work out as a useful tool that hasn't caused me a lot of pain or a huge amount of dependency.