Thank you so much, Manatee and TMC. I am doing better now than I was earlier. Just glad today is almost over.

At least he gave me one wonderful gift - this place. I came here because of him, and I found all of you beautiful people. Thanks, T.

Unfortunately I can't afford extra sessions with T2. We are contracting next session and I will find out if he's okay with out-of-session contact... I hope so.

But yes... I'm detoxing. Again, it reminds me of quitting smoking. The hardest cigarettes to give up were the ritual ones, the habitual ones... like the ones after a meal, the ones whilst waiting for a bus, that first one in the morning with a cup of coffee... this feels the same. At 4.30 today every fibre of me was screaming out that I needed to be there, with him. Like usual. But I got through the craving. I didn't even send him any stupid messages...

I hope he missed me, though. I hope he thought of me.