I had another bad weekend of thoughts. Basically two. That I’m a failure and no one wants me (very lonely). I fell back into bad behaviors and slept all day yesterday except for a moment when I ordered pizza (tbh barely recall that).

I skipped iop but I called my therapist. I told her I had a panic attack Saturday night (which I did, after finishing work and having a flat tire) and told her I can’t get these thoughts out. She told me to do a mood tracker. It says evidence for and against these thought (evidence, not judgement) and how I can make new thoughts. Well I’m still stuck in the negative. I’m lonely. Evidence I’m alone, no new thoughts. I’m a failure evidence, not succeeding.

I guess I still have a long way to go.

I do t want to be alone for my birthday.