Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh
Thanks for this. Yeah, I need to not bring this up for a good long while, or ever again. I am the same as you when it comes to doing a re-enactment of how/when things went wrong. In this case, she says that she hears how this is for me and is sorry I can't hear that she understands. But when she suggests someone who advertises as a sexologist, complete with all the diverse sex themes she works on, I have to accept that I will not be understood on this. You gave me a heads up that this would be the case. It's hard to take in, though.
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I know this sounds awful but have you tried telling her what would've felt like an understanding response?
When people talk about how saying that sort of stuff is helpful, I used to roll my eyes.
I still roll my eyes at the idea of trying to get someone to give me that perfect response.
But, in the case of therapy, what I actually use that for is to show how far and away and lacking the therapist's response is versus what I had in mind.
In the moment it didn't help much with current T (stone cold silence, staring daggers etc). But, at a later point, it helped her 'get' why I was repeatedly getting so pissed off.
And, of course, in my case, I went many steps further and then insisted that the reason current T couldn't give me that response was because she unconsciously had a problem with me.....didn't get anywhere much with that but I trust you'll not go down the same path.
For what it's worth (not much I know) I really don't think this is a reflection of her feelings for you (truly -- trust me, I'd be the first to bash her up if that were the case).
