I had some friends come out of the woodwork that were moms of my daughter’s friends when my husband passed away, then poof, they were vapor after they did what they needed to do to make themselves feel better (bring me a casserole, take me out to eat, have me over once). This was nearly impossible to endure while grieving with SI, but I did it. Then they were gone.

Here it is 4-5 years later and one of them is demanding to have lunch. Forget it now. She has moved away and is just visiting. Why would I bother? She wasn’t around when I needed a friend.

Oddly, another woman from this group suddenly wants to meet up. She pinged me when I was extremely depressed. I was honest and told her I was too depressed. Why are they bothering me after letting five years go by?

I think being bipolar gets in the way, yeah. I might be more forgiving and just see people.

I’m pretty unhappy with another friend who made me feel like I was bothering her after my husband died. I just couldn’t stand being alone and asked if I could come over. I didn’t need her to talk to me, I just needed to not be alone. She had me over once, but she was busy her life.

I invested in one more friend after that, but my bipolar problems started up. Sometimes I could barely sit up I was so depressed. It made me angry later that she insisted we go out, and she showed up 45 min. late. Also, I was just all out manic another time we went out, and I ended up having to explain myself.

I need to see if I can get to stable. My bipolar problems have gotten worse, and I’m not sure I can manage another friendship.

I haven’t been the same since my husband died.