I had to chuckle, myself, over the initial part of your discription of your husband: the gazing at something else and you having to tell him to look at you. That's exactly what I go through whenever I try to speak seriously with my boyfriend. Sometimes I stand in front of the TV to get him to look at me. The other night I was pouring out my heart about some emotional difficulty I'm currently going through. The second I finished he asked "Did you start dinner yet?" He'll loudly remark about someone's appearance in public . . . someone he thinks is funny looking. In the supermarket, he'll go over to where candy is sold in bulk and just help himself and eat it.

I'm inclined to think that totally spacing out when being seriously addressed by one's woman is a rather common male response. I find it utterly exasperating. However, it often seems less a sign of developmental deficit than an indication of plain old disinterest. My bf is pretty obviously not on the a. spectrum.

You do list other things. Taken together they may add up to a spectrum disorder. I think that a mental disorder has to do one of two things: It has to impair a person's functioning, as in the person can't hold a job . . . or it has to cause significant distress to the person concerned. So I'm wondering what normal things is your husband unable to do, or what kind of emotional suffering does he experience?