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Old Jan 03, 2005, 06:24 PM
obsids obsids is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2004
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 255
Last night, as I was trying to sleep, my mind was racing. It was like being in a roomful of tv screens all flashing up memories from my life. One memory would bring up another and another... but it wasn't just one at a time... it was about 100 different things constantly shifting all over, mostly memories of my childhood. I could not make it stop. Even my insomnia drugs did not slow it down.

And it continued until I could feel the shag carpet under my feet and smell the stale smell unique to my parents' house.

Usually when I flashback, it is one memory. But this was thousands of memories, just moments, like me playing on the stairs by myself or digging in the sandbox or lying on the livingroom floor staring at the ceiling and hearing the theme from General Hospital come on the tv.

This has happened before... actually it is quite frequent, but this is the first time that it has taken total control of my head.

I triggered over the weekend. And I am still struggling with the overload of cortisol from that.

Am I just weird, or does everyone experience this, or is it my ptsd that is messing with my head again?

Obsidian
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Obsidian

Lord, help me be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be...