Oh, I'm sorry to have been delayed in my reply

I think that when I share, like in a post, the situation and feelings become "real"..... and-- well, this may sound a bit odd-- but, I'm not used to "real"--- so used to going numb and mentally escaping--- it takes much energy to remain in a situation and deal with "feelings". I've not much expereince with it. have always felt 100 steps behind most people.

anyway,.... I've pushed myself back here....

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
It sounds like you are trying to cover for your husband in his behavior, but, remember, he is making this choice, not you! You need not make excuses for him or "enable" him in this lifestyle.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Yes, I think maybe I am "covering" a bit for him. I had to be the strong one as a child and young adult-- had to let others lean on me and take care of them and take drastic measure to make others lives OK...... perhaps I need to work on what is helpful and what is "enabling".

It so scares me that my oldest son could be losing respect for his father....... what is a young man that doesn't respect his father??-- a lost soul???

You didn't sound harsh to me Patty, I so appreciate your insight and sure, sometimes things can be hard to see/hear-- but it's not always the easy route that ends in happiness and healing.

thank you for your support and honesty, means a lot to me.

mandy