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Old Oct 24, 2017, 12:26 PM
La.Last.Lucy La.Last.Lucy is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: California
Posts: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaminoDeOro View Post
Okay this morning I'm noticing something interesting. I woke up with very high physical tension/activation, which is why I started this thread in the first place. Based on my experience the past few weeks, with this level of tension I'm very likely to go hypo today, and really the question is whether it will be dysphoric (irritability/rage) or euphoric (subjectively AWESOME but derails my whole agenda). I suspect that's strongly influenced by how I start my day and how much socializing I do.

Here's the weird and interesting thing though. This morning, and I've noticed this a bit on other days but today it really stands out, the physical tension seems to be disconnected from my level of mental stimulation. My alarm went off and I became conscious and immediately thought "crap, I'm really wound up." But I could have easily gone right back to sleep. I normally take a long time to wake up with multiple alarms etc, and this isn't really changed when I'm waking up with this strange physical activation. It still took me almost an hour to really wake up, hitting snooze etc this morning, like always. But when I'm conscious holy crap am I keyed up. I mean sometimes breathing hard while I'm lying in bed. Feeling like I could do a kool-aid man act and jump through walls.

As you can imagine, it is VERY easy for a state like that to turn into agitated hypomania, and sometimes euphoric.

What on earth is going on. The only thing vaguely similar I've experienced is having too much caffeine, which doesn't really wake me up, so I will be sleepy but physically wired in a somewhat similar way.

Come to think of it, this weird agitation type effect has basically felt like I've been on too much caffeine for weeks on end. I barely have any caffeine in my diet either.


Morning/Afternoon-
This may not help the way you are feeling but I have been through this so I genuinely understand and hope knowing that this isn’t just you may give some comfort.
I completely understand the mania (hypomania another diagnosis) it is frightening to be unsure if the manic will turn into irritability irrationality or even worse bs maybe euphoria. I don’t know you but if I could physically be there with u I would- if you’re alone or with someone who doesn’t understand it can make things worse, I get very upset when my significant other does not have answers or comforting words or naturally wants to be more “loving” knowing what we are feeling.
The feeling will pass. I don’t want to tell you wether it will be euphoric or jaw clenching. I do not know how u deal with episode or how you like to be comforted or “coping techniques” fricken hate that word, are.
Feel free to message me anytime even if you don’t want a response just to express what your feeling to get it out, but not like journaling, knowing that another human being is listening.
Thanks for this!
CaminoDeOro