Hello mm: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. There can be a lot of support available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become.

As to your quandary, I'm afraid all I can tell you, from personal experience, is that life is pretty-much exactly the drudge you are afraid it is. At least that was my experience. (I'm now pushing 70!) For most people I think that ends up being the way it is. That's not always the case though I don't believe. There are at least a few people who manage to make a career for themselves doing something they truly love! So it is certainly possible! But first you have to figure out what it is you'd truly love to do with your life, as well as what you are able to do.

We all have innate abilities, as well as limitations, that need to be taken into consideration when making these kinds of decisions. Perhaps taking another shot at some counseling or therapy might be helpful. The thing you have going for you at the moment is that you're single. If you marry & have a family before you establish yourself in some career you truly love, you really do become locked into that day-to-day grind you fear.

There is a wonderful book I always like to recommend when replying to posts along the lines of yours. It is: Let Your Life Speak- Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker J. Palmer, Jossey-Bass, 2000.

Good luck!