I feel like for my therapist who is younger I am too complicated for her. I am not easy like most patients she probably sees in their early 20s who are a bit more flexible to change. I am 46 and very much set in my ways or the way I learned to survive I should say. Then I get mixed signals when I talk about the trauma. That I am falling in the victim trap. I am not telling her my story for the poor me look what happened. It's trying to unload stuff I have kept hidden for close to 3 decades. That whole victim stuff messes with my head bc just like in childhood when I attempted to reach out to express my feelings it was shut down quickly otherwise well yeah.