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Old Oct 24, 2017, 06:02 PM
rdgrad15 rdgrad15 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,749
Quote:
Originally Posted by xRavenx View Post
A few weeks ago, I posted on here that I was trying to get in touch with my friend and couldn't. I was in denial that maybe she had changed her number and accidentally lost my contact info, or that she was in a hospital or that something really bad happened to her. This is because, I had not heard from her after more than a month. We used to talk nearly every day. I knew she was going through a lot, but after several weeks of trying to get in touch with her (even begging her to just shoot me a text that she is okay, even if she wanted space), she finally returned my phone call today.

She told me that after we went out to eat, she took something I said out of context. She said I made things too much about "me" after she shared something negative about her boss, which we talked about many times before on the phone, where I've given her a lot of my time and support listening. I was still supportive that day when we went out....

I thought it ended well (so I thought) that last time we spoke that day we went out. We laughed, we hugged, and went our separate ways. I even paid a little more for dinner out of care for her, without expecting anything in return. I did not know at all that I had done something wrong until being ghosted for a whole month!! I had sent a card reaching out even, because she had not responded to my numerous texts and calls, just wanting to know if she was alive at that point.

I don't know how to proceed. I showed understanding once she got back to me, but made it clear that it did not feel good to be ignored and left in the dark for weeks at a time. She said she was going through a lot and did say sorry, but I was taken aback when she shared what she was mad at, with me having no idea. She is always in crisis and has difficulties with people in a wide variety of settings. I know she's been through a lot in the past. Do I have the right to feel that I was mistreated by being given the silent treatment?

I understand if she wanted space and not to talk, but to deliberately not respond to texts of me worrying about her for weeks at a time felt horrible. I try to give her excuses, and she makes them too based on having "a lot going on," but I can't help thinking it's playing the victim too much. I have my problems too with Bipolar Disorder, but I wouldn't treat a friend this way. I don't know how to move forward.
Oh I agree with you and the other posters. Yes you were definitely mistreated. What your friend did was very rude and immature. She should have said something. I've had people do this to me and I find it very rude and it even caused me to lose respect for people who have done this to me in the past. Like you said, I'd rather someone get mad at me and say it to my face than flat out ignore me. It may not be pleasant, but at least I would know why they are mad or what is wrong. Someone who just simply doesn't respond after pretending like everything is okay is just freaky since you don't know if they are mad or if something bad happened. I'm sorry she did this to you. You deserve better and I'd be more cautious of her from now on.
Hugs from:
xRavenx
Thanks for this!
xRavenx