I've had to grieve over and over for what my Ts couldn't give me. I wanted them to be mother, sister, friend and partner. I wanted them to give me unconditional love and be there for me always. I wanted them to comfort my child parts who were unhappy. I also wanted to be part of their life. I wanted (and still do) them to share some of their life with me.

I've discussed all of the above with my Ts, but mostly with my current T. I've had to come to terms with the reality and find that what she can give me is good enough. I still wonder if it was worth it. Like others wonder, for those of us with attachment problems, is therapy worth the trouble? I've learned a lot about myself and my needs, but the grief experienced because T is not "the one" is often almost intolerable.