I suck as a person. I've only been up since 2 pm (thanks zyprexa) and I've had so many meltdowns and outbursts I can't count. I'm so short with everyone it's ridiculous. I'm on the verge of tears for no reason. I can't even cuddle up with my bear that my son gave me because my dog slobbered on it and it needs to be washed but our washer is messed up. I'm starting to feel maybe my therapist wasn't as bad as not having one is. We're going to get a notice to clean our apartment but I just don't care and care too much at the same time. Why can't I just be. I know my husband is struggling too. He wants to drop the co-ops next semester because we have to do about 6 hours of work a day with my nephew. Asking that much of us is unfair. I hate it but there's no other option. Is it bad that I want his sister to move so we can go back to life as normal? I hate having my nephew here and I'm being short with him because of it. I don't want to be but I am.