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BCM, I'm sorry your D is struggling.
I don't think you're a bad parent, or have anything to explain. Being shocked or surprised or whatever they might expect isn't going to help her anyway. Did they have anything helpful to say, or did they just drop that in your lap?
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Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by accidents of time, or place, or circumstance, are brought into closer connection with you. (St. Augustine)
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