I really feel for you. I felt exactly the same way when my wife of over 30 yrs.
told me not to touch her anymore and wanted me gone. And not even telling me why ! I felt like you. I couldn’t do anything. I wound up at the edge of a cliff.
The whole bottom line was that I had to go through a process of grief and pain.
There’s no getting around it if your any type of person who has feelings.
You must learn to just focus on yourself. You have to get into self preservation mode. You must eat. You must work, ( if you have to and need the money! ) Stay in the present. Stay in the moment. Focus on your breathing.
Mindfulness was the answer for me. Whatever happened in the past is gone.
Just go through the pain once. Not over and over again every day.
Force yourself to survive. You will get through this , and you’ll be a much stronger person for it. Best to you.